As is so often the case with pieces that appear in the 'Onion,' I honestly could not decide whether this was a clever hoax or not - the arguments were almost exactly as stupid as the real thing.

The suicide-bombing community is not absolutely 100 percent religious, but it is pretty nearly 100 percent religious.

How do I know that I know this, except that I've always been taught this and never heard anything else? [...] How sure am I of my own views? Don't take refuge in the false security of consensus, and the feeling that whatever you think you're bound to be okay, because you're in the safely moral majority.

I am absolutely convinced that religion is the main source of hatred in this world.

I think being an atheist is something you are, not something you do.

To remember friendship is to recall those conversations that it seemed a sin to break off

I learned that very often the most intolerant and narrow-minded people are the ones who congratulate themselves on their tolerance and open-mindedness.