Inside, I was like: "Ha, suck my spiky rubber strap-on, vampyre hunter!

You don't hurry a thinker, and you don't talk to him when he's thinking. It's just inconsiderate.

Shoes off in the whale! And don't try and make a break for the anus.

Children see magic because they look for it.

Lonliness evaporated off of them like the steam off dry ice, and by morning it was just a cloud on the ceiling of the room, then gone with the light.

...she is too beautiful, I think, to not be inherently evil.

Winter near the shore is cold. The wind kicks up a salty mist and elephant seals come to shore to trumpet and rut and birth their pups. Retired people put sweaters on their lap dogs and drag them down the street on retractable leashes in a nightly parade of doggy humiliation. Surfers don their wetsuits against the chill of storm waves and white sharks adjust their diets to include shrink-wrapped dude-snacks on fiberglass crackers.