Inside, I was like: "Ha, suck my spiky rubber strap-on, vampyre hunter!

Blessed are the meek, for to them we shall say "attaboy".

I know that even now, having watched enough television, you probably won't even refer to them as lepers so as to spare their feelings. You probably call them 'parts-dropping-off challenged' or something.

People always stay the age that they died at. My big brother died of leukemia when I was six. He was eight. Now when I think of him, he's always eight, and he's still my big brother. He never changes, and the part of me that remembers him never changes.

It was sometimes difficult to reconcile a man's talents with his personality.

He has the attention span of a hummingbird.

I could stand on my head and flick the bean right there at the dinner table and my mom would be all, "Honey, Christmas is family time, we should be together" and make me finish in front of everyone.