... but to remain historically accurate, I would have had to leave out an important question that I felt needed to be addressed, which is, 'What if Jesus had known kung fu?

The prospect of change is a many-fanged beast, my dear.

I was seven before I realized that you could eat breakfast with your pants on.

Then someone started pounding on the door. And not a little "Hey, what's up?" pound. Like there was a big sale on door pounds down at the Pound Outlet. Buy one, get one free at Pounds-n-Stuff. --Being the Journal of Abby Normal

Foul and magical fumes bubbled out of the kettle, like the flatulence of a dragon on a demon-only diet.

It's very difficult to stay angry when a room full of bald guys in orange robes start giggling. Buddhism.

Do we look like thrill-seekers? Wasn't it enough that we had to put up that sign reading NO HABLA ESPANOL and acknowledge the existence of thirty percent of the population, even in the negative?