Like most Beta Males, he didn't realize that being a good guy was not necessarily an attraction to women.

It's wildly irritating to have invented something as revolutionary as sarcasm, only to have it abused by amateurs.

Don't be ridiculous, Charlie, people love the parents who beat their kids in department stores. It's the ones who just let their kids wreak havoc that everybody hates.

An original thought would crack your feeble skull like a thunderbolt, you craven vulture.

She hugged me and I could feel the heat rise in my face, either from shame or love, like there was a difference.

Only by being prepared for your death can you ever truly live.

I am convinced by the events of the last few weeks that nefarious forces of people--unidentified but no less real--are threatening life as we know it, and in fact, may be bent on unraveling the very fabric of our existence.