Sweetheart, wake up; you've destroyed the house and I need you to suffer for it.

Oh, I get it," I said. "It's a parable. Cute. Let's go eat.

And he was like "The sedative in the blood, blah, blah, four hours, blah, blah, nerdspeak, geektalk -" -Abby

Carlton Mellick III has the craziest book titles and the kinkiest fans!

One of them hissed-not the hiss of a cat, a long, steady tone-more like the hiss of air escaping the rubber raft that is all that lies between you and a dark sea full of sharks, the hiss of your life leaking out at the seams.

Christmas crept into Pine Cove like a creeping Christmas thing: dragging garland, ribbon, and sleigh bells, oozing eggnog, reeking of pine, and threatening festive doom like a cold sore under the mistletoe.

May the IRS find that you deduct your pet sheep as an entertainment expense.