Stephenie Meyer: Her vampires are sparkly, which I think we can all agree is wrong.

Tommy moved on. "Lash, your people have been oppressed for hundreds of years. It's time to strike back. Look, you don't have your MBA yet - they haven't completely juiced you of your usefulness yet. Would Martin Luther King back down from this challenge? Malcolm X? James Brown? Don't you have a dream? Don't you feel good, like you knew that you would, now?

He has the attention span of a hummingbird.

He invented Kung Fu when translated to English means method by which short, bald guys can kick the bejeezus out of you.

I think I'm what they call a never-was.

Nobody's perfect... Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him.

I was seven before I realized that you could eat breakfast with your pants on.