If you're a racist, right now, in 2011... You just look like a retard, man.

It should be a law. Everybody should legally own a gun. In fact, if you're caught outside your house without your gun, you get a ticket. And you get shot in the leg. Just to prove my point.

My father was on the Alcoholics Anonymous wishlist. My mother was on... parole. And lithium.

Lady Gaga is proof that David Bowie raped Carol Burnett.

God bless America. But God, please help Canada.

My dad's full of encouragement and support. It just feels like abandonment and neglect.

Screw normal. You know why? 'Cause if you're normal, the crowd will accept you. But if you're deranged, the crowd will make you their leader.