Our generation has had no Great Depression, no Great War. Our war is spiritual. Our depression is our lives.

New carpet will exude poisonous formaldehyde for up to two years after it'd been laid. I know the feeling.

If you flee from the things you fear, there's no resolution.

Life's greatest comfort is being able to look over your shoulder and see people worse off, waiting in line behind you.

All you can do is hope for a pattern to emerge, and sometimes it never does. Still, with a plan, you only get the best you can imagine. I'd always hoped for something better than that.

So this is why I write. Because most times, your life isn’t funny the first time through. Most times, you can hardly stand it. That’s why I write, because life never works except in retrospect. And writing makes you look back. Because since you can’t control life, at least you can control your version.

I told him to buy land, my mum says, they’re not making it anymore.