Proof that no investment is yours forever.

What we think of as Halloween is really the product of media barons, city mayors, and candy-makers. You know, before the 1920s, Halloween was really a terrible, terrible night.

When I see people talking on the internet about me or my work it's almost always more a description of themselves and so I never really think of myself as anything more than just who I always was.

You must realize that one day you will die. Until then you are worthless.

Everything is funnier in retrospect, funnier and prettier and cooler. You can laugh at anything from far enough away.

You kill strangers deliberately so you don't accidentally kill the people you love.

So here I am. This is as good as it gets. Take it or leave it.