Since we do operate in a binary world, if there's something that cannot be this or that, it drives us crazy.

Think of spoiled cat food and ulcerated cankers and expired donor organs. That's how beautiful she looks.

Nevertheless, if you ask me, most people have children just as their own enthusiasm about life begins to wane. A child allows us to revisit the excitement we once felt about, well... everything. A generation later, our grandkids bump up our enthusiasm yet again. Reproducing is a kind of booster shot to keep us loving life.

We went sailing one time, and he wore a Speedo, and any smart woman should know that means bisexual at least.

You ever wonder when God's coming back with a lot of barbecue sauce?

You don’t care where I live or how I feel, or what I eat or how I feed my kids or how I pay the doctor if I get sick, and yes I am stupid and bored and weak, but I am still your responsibility.

The old rule about how a thing of beauty is a joy forever, in my experience, even the most beauteous thing is only a joy for about three hours, tops. After that, she'll want to tell you all about her childhood traumas. Part of meeting these jail girls is it's so sweet to look at your watch and know she'll be behind bars in half an hour.