A hotel, he told me, was a big house where a lot of people lived and ate and slept, but no one knew each other. He said that described most families in the outside world.

If you're not drunk and half naked by this point, you're not paying attention.

Actually, watching television and surfing the Internet are really excellent practice for being dead.

Every woman is just a different kind of problem.

Somehow people have been sold on the idea that only professionals can entertain them, that only professionals can sing or tell jokes. And people are cut out of this creativity loop, and creativity is being limited to these large, centralized voices.

These distraction-oholics. These focus-ophobics.

After you hear even the shortest great story, it should fill you with a little bit of fear.