After a good-looking boy gives you rabies two, three times, you'll settle down and marry somebody less exciting for the rest of your life

All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.

The only biodiversity we're going to have left is Coke versus Pepsi. We're landscaping the whole world one stupid mistake at a time.

A guy's calling to say he's failing algebra II. Just as a point of practice, I say, Kill yourself. A woman calls and says her kids won't behave. Without missing a beat, I tell her, Kill yourself. A man calls to say his car won't start. Kill yourself. A woman calls to ask what time the late movie starts. Kill yourself. She asks, "Isn't this 555-1327? Is this the Moorehouse CinePlex? I say, Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself.

You're always haunted by the idea you're wasting your life.

This was freedom. Losing all hope was freedom.

The feeling is less like an ending than just another starting point.