Honest is how I want to look. The truth doesn't glitter and shine.

To hell with housework, our top priority has always been between our legs.

If there’s any trick to doing a job you hate . . . Mrs. Clark says it’s to find a job you hate even more.

Kids grow up connected to nothing these days, plugged in and living lives boosted to them from other people.

Don't do this. I love you. Don't shut me out.

I admire addicts. In a world where everybody is waiting for some blind, random disaster or some sudden disease, the addict has the comfort of knowing what will most likely wait for him down the road. He's taken some control over his ultimate fate, and his addiction keeps the cause of his death from being a total surprise.

Really, just looking around, you feel a twinge of pity for the poor souls who succeeded in getting past the Pearly Gates. One can't help but picture the lackluster VIP lounge in Heaven, a kind of nonalcoholic ice-cream social starring Harriet Beecher Stowe and Mahatma Gandhi. Hardly anyone's idea of a "with-it" social register.