We went sailing one time, and he wore a Speedo, and any smart woman should know that means bisexual at least.

This isn't about guilt or innocence, he says. The dinosaurs weren't morally good or bad, but they're all dead.

Marla tells me how in the wild you don't see old animals because as soon as they age, animals die. If they get sick or slow down, something stronger kills them. Animals aren't meant to get old. Marla lies down on her bed and undoes the tie on her bathrobe, and says our culture has made death something wrong. Old animals should be an unnatural exception. Freaks.

I came to Party Crashing because accidents happen. People you love will die. Nothing you treasure will last forever. And I need to accept and embrace that fact.

The only biodiversity we're going to have left is Coke versus Pepsi. We're landscaping the whole world one stupid mistake at a time.

The girls you meet are never very far from their worst-case scenario.

Every high school has its Romeo and Juliet, one tragic couple. So does every generation.