All the physical comes from the mental.

I had some experience in dealing with people who have mental illness and depression, but I didn't see the signs in myself. I couldn't ask for help because I didn't know I needed help.

I'll skate on concrete if I have to. I'm not worried about how fast the ice is. I'm worried about how fast I can go on the ice.

Sport that consumed me for over two decades . . . is now gone. Now it's just me. No pressure, no expectations, no need to be fast, good, strong or to even improve. Yet I can't let go of this idea that I always need to be more than I am. And it is eating me alive.

That's what is most satisfying, is having overcome that pain. Pain that is so intense that when you finish, it feels like you're going to die. That's what I wanted, and that's what I got.

With athletes, it's never fully understood the level to which we push ourselves. Especially in an endurance sport.

The struggle I went through has value.