Every damn President since I can remember has been so in love with foreign policy that they're just like a schoolboy with a new girl.

The National Park Service shot a mule in the face. He survived but had trouble swallowing and often food came out of his nose.

What this world needs is a new kind of army - the army of the kind.

Every damn President since I can remember has been so in love with foreign policy that they're just like a schoolboy with a new girl.

I've always had a sneaking fondness for Martin Van Buren. He wrote his autobiography, you know, and never once mentioned his wife. Now that's what I call a mans man.

I detest professional anythings but particularly professional writers. Most of them today are just garbage collectors.

Cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human mind. They realize...that we have an infuriating inability to understand, let alone follow, even the simplest and most explicit of directions.