If you give me the ball, you'll never see it again. Because I'll knock it out of the f*****g park.

Pete and Repeat are in a boat, Pete jumps out who's left in the boat?

So what? I'm out here doing commentary with Malaria.

No matter how much people want to pretend that they're embarrassed by it, that they don't watch it, everybody knows about it. It's truly, I believe, one of the only art forms that America has actually given to the world, besides jazz and comic books.

Anybody wants to call me the Triple H of Ring of Honor, I think that's hilarious. I would prefer to call Triple H the CM Punk of the WWE.

My dad was an alcoholic and my mother...we didn't have any money and I grew up really poor. I watched them spend all of their money on cartons of cigarettes and stuff like that and I didn't understand how if we were broke and we couldn't afford Christmas presents, why could you smoke all of those cigarettes? It's not like they are making you better...they are killing you. It seemed real idiotic to me.

My hair is pure. It stands for purity because no foreign chemicals or substances has ever touched my hair.