I don't know if this sounds bad, but I am set. I don't spend my money. I don't buy cars or have an expensive drug habit. The only thing I've ever bought with the money I've made is my house.

Why could you smoke all of those cigarettes? It’s not like they are making you better… they are killing you. It seemed real idiotic to me.

I'm straight edge, and that means I'm better than you.

Can I read it? They really liked it when I did it.

Have you guys ever ghost hunted in Hawaii? No? Well, I have this fat friend... I shouldn't say fat, that might offend him, but he's Samoan and claims to have seen ghosts.

Right now at the announce table we've got two kings and a queen, I'll let you figure out who's who.

YOU HAVE A VAAGGGIINNAAA!