Until you announce me as the #1 contender for the WWE Championship, I suggest you watch me make snow angels.

I like all kinds of wrestling, I like pro wrestling, so if there's a guy I've been feuding with for over a year, and damn it, the only thing left to do is beat the crap out of each other in a steel cage, then it's time to do it.

See, Josh, that's what you do when someone slaps you in the face. So the next time it happens to you, try to retaliate.

This is how diseases are usually spread. Someone spits on a guy, somebody has sex with a chimp. Next thing you know . . . AIDS.

You know, I always like being the bad guy. It just comes more natural to me. I don't gotta smile, I don't gotta kiss babies. It's easier to tell people at airports at four in the morning that I'm not signing their stuff.

I'd much rather be a one-hit wonder than a phony.

You'd figure he'd go do something with his life, like maybe he could enlist and actually become a marine!