President Obama and Vladimir Putin are both in China attending the same economic summit. Obama saw Putin and said, 'After those midterms, it's nice to finally see a friendly face.'

People in China criticized President Obama for chewing gum while entering the economic summit in Beijing. They're saying he looked like a rapper. Then again, to be fair, in China I look like a rapper.

In a speech today, President Obama said that Michelle Obama is very strong and talented and she frequently tells him that he is wrong. As a result, Michelle Obama is now the Republican front-runner for 2016.

Today, possible presidential candidate Donald Trump released his birth certificate. It lists his eyes as blue and his hair as ridiculous.

After Donald Trump's derogatory comments about immigrants, NBC has officially cancelled Celebrity Apprentice. Think about it: Donald Trump isn't even president yet, and he's already made America a better place!

According to a recent survey, kids are receiving an average of 40 cents less from the tooth fairy. That's right, the economy is so bad that even make-believe people are feeling the pinch.

I'd kill for 'somewhat frosty.'