Donald Trump insisted he's always had a great relationship with women. He said, 'I believe a woman can be anything she wants to be, whether that's Miss USA or Miss Universe. Either one.'

In the Year 2000 due to the declining number of champions in the world, Wheaties will change its slogan to 'Breakfast of Sexual Deviants.

Big story at the Olympics regarding Michael Phelps. He stepped out with his girlfriend for the first time. She is a 25-year-old model from Los Angeles. Like every other model in L.A., She's dating an older retired guy. What's going on?

Scientists say because of global warming they expect the world's oceans to rise four and a half feet. The scientists say this can mean only one thing: Gary Coleman is going to drown.

Donald Trump refuses to give details about his policy plans. Trump apologized by saying, 'When I announced I was running for president, I had no idea people would take me seriously.'

Texas Governor Rick Perry distanced himself from George W. Bush by saying, 'I went to Texas A&M. He went to Yale.' In other words, his idea of instilling confidence is by saying, 'Don't worry. I'm not as smart as George W. Bush.'

Earlier tonight the second Republican debate took place here in California. With 10 men and only one woman, everyone thought they were watching 'The Bachelorette.'