I'm a paranoid person. And I think - I'm the kind of person that can come up with lots of negative scenarios. But I remembered thinking that seemed like - that was a stretch even for me.

The Olympics have just started and the Greeks are already 14 medals in debt.

The corporate scandals are getting bigger and bigger. In a speech on Wall Street, President Bush spoke out on corporate responsibility, and he warned executives not to cook the books. Afterwards, Martha Stewart said the correct term was to saute the books.

A European brewery has purchased Anheuser-Busch, the makers of Budweiser, for $52 billion. Which is a a shame because if they had waited until happy hour, they could have paid half that.

The Canadian government continues to say they will not help us if we go to war with Iraq. However, the prime minister of Canada said he'd like to help, but he's pretty sure that last time he checked, Canada had no army.

North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un reportedly has had 15 of his top officials executed. So the lesson here is when Kim Jong Un comes to work with a new haircut, you tell him, 'Looking good, Un.'

The White House admitted that Vice President Biden's endorsement of gay marriage forced him to come out in favor of it. So in a related story millions of Americans are trying to get Biden hooked on pot.