Mitt Romney is saying his comments about liking to fire people were taken out of context. Yeah, what he actually said was he likes to set poor people on fire.

Today was the annual Easter egg roll on the White House lawn. Usually when you see something rolling on the White House lawn it's a drunk Secret Service agent.

Today Donald Trump reaffirmed his stance against gay marriage. Trump said marriage is between a rich guy and his much younger third wife.

Olympic officials have disqualified a champion race walker after determining that he was doping. They disqualified him. The man said getting caught doping is almost as embarrassing as getting caught being a champion race walker.

The turkey that President Obama will pardon this Thanksgiving is from California. The turkey said, "I don't need a pardon. I need a job.'

A town in Upstate New York is being accused of being biased 'cause they sent out absentee ballots that say 'Barack Osama.' Today they apologized and printed new ballots that say 'Barack Hussein Osama.'

Indiana's governor is coming under fire for a new law that some people feel is anti-gay. The governor now says he is not anti-gay. Then immediately afterwards he said, 'April Fools.' It wasn't his best joke.