Senator John Kerry is in trouble for making a joke about soldiers being uneducated. As a result, Kerry promised to stop making jokes and stick to boring people.

In West Virginia yesterday, a man was arrested for stealing several blow-up dolls. Reportedly, police didn't have any trouble catching the man because he was completely out of breath.

Earlier today, the White House released President Bush's tax return. Not surprisingly, under dependents, the president listed Iraq

Tomorrow is Election Day. That's the day we Americans wake up, consider our options, and then remember we didn't register to vote.

During last night's debate, John Kerry and John Edwards were so friendly to each other some political experts think that they may end up running together. In fact Kerry and Edwards were so friendly, President Bush accused them of planning a gay marriage.

People are already talking about the next presidential election. There's stories all over about who might run. At a recent speech, a prominent Democrat said that Hillary Clinton should not run because she can't win. Immediately after the speech, Hillary told her husband to shut up.

In New York, we had primary elections for mayor. To improve their chances, all five candidates changed their name to Rudy Giuliani.