You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses, and he wears a beret. He is French, people.

In Sarah Palin's new book, she says when she first laid eyes on her future husband, she said out loud, 'Thank you, God,' which is the same thing the Democrats said when they first laid eyes on Sarah Palin.

Big story at the Olympics regarding Michael Phelps. He stepped out with his girlfriend for the first time. She is a 25-year-old model from Los Angeles. Like every other model in L.A., She's dating an older retired guy. What's going on?

For the first time ever, a black Republican woman has been elected to Congress. President Obama told her, 'You are all set. This country never turns against a black anything.'

Kim Kardashian tweeted that she is supporting President Obama in the midterm elections. I think it worked because all of the polls are predicting that after tonight Barack Obama will still be president of the United States.

Yesterday the DEA raided several NFL teams suspected of giving prescription painkillers to their players. In its defense, the New York Jets' doctor said, 'We don't give painkillers to our players. We give them to our fans.'

Donald Trump insisted he's always had a great relationship with women. He said, 'I believe a woman can be anything she wants to be, whether that's Miss USA or Miss Universe. Either one.'