Toyota has announced it will start integrating Microsoft technology into their vehicles. It's perfect for the person who wants a car that crashes every ten minutes.

At the State of the Union address last night, President Obama made history by using the words transgender, lesbian, and bisexual in that speech. It was the part of the speech where he was just reading Craigslist personals.

The Obama administration announced a deal with Iran that would prevent the Iranians from making a nuclear weapon. In exchange, we're giving the Iranians Netflix.

Today in Washington, D.C., several government buildings were left without power. Of course, the White House will be without power for two more years.

Donald Trump insisted yesterday that he is not racist, because one time an African-American won Apprentice. Because nothing says 'not racist' like making a black man run your errands.

Today, Angelina Jolie met with Pope Francis at the Vatican. Long story short: She adopted him.

I just want to say to the kids out there watching: You can do anything you want in life. Unless Jay Leno wants to do it too.