In West Virginia yesterday, a man was arrested for stealing several blow-up dolls. Reportedly, police didn't have any trouble catching the man because he was completely out of breath.

According to new statistics, Pope Francis is the most talked about person on the Internet. And not only that, he has the most viewed profile on Christian Mingle.

Yesterday during a speech on national security, Jeb Bush mispronounced Boko Haram and got confused between Iran and Iraq. When reached for comment, his brother George W. said, 'He sure sounds presidentiary to me.'

Tomorrow is Election Day. That's the day we Americans wake up, consider our options, and then remember we didn't register to vote.

I hate cynicism - it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere.

Tom Cruise's attorney said he is going to sue anyone who claims he is gay. In a related story, Ricky Martin's attorney has been hospitalized for exhaustion.

Lenscrafters is upset with Tea Partier Michele Bachmann because she called Planned Parenthood 'the Lenscrafters of abortion.' Lenscrafters released a statement today calling her 'the Costco of crazy.'