These are my wakeup cupcakes, some anti-depressants and a cellphone book.

I used to do drugs, but don't tell anyone or it will ruin my image.

But, you know, all good rock is easy.

When you're feeling overwhelmed in business, one smart idea can beat the biggest Super Bowl ad.

But I always wound up being the damn John, when I wanted to be the Paul.

I am God and my lawyers are my 12 disciples...do not f**k with me!

Remember, if you write anything nasty about me, I'll come around and blow up your toilet.