I'm busy and that's the way I like it - when I have too much downtime I get into trouble.

For me, everything has always been an accident.

Once journalists have been rifling through your dustbins, you do try and keep them at arms' length.

Prison widens your circle of friends. In my stand-up, I can now talk about things that no one else has the right to touch.

Coming from having absolutely nothing to having a few grand in the bank, it was a big culture leap. I think that's why I went off the rails a bit really, 'cause there was no training for it. They didn't do fame in schools.

I have a stepladder. It's a very nice stepladder but it's sad that I never knew my real ladder.

Critics called me 'egregious' - I had to look that one up - and 'creepy', but now I don't read them, I weigh them.