Who needs drugs when you have Takeshi's Castle?

For me, everything has always been an accident.

Critics called me 'egregious' - I had to look that one up - and 'creepy', but now I don't read them, I weigh them.

British fans are exceptional, but the American fans are something else. Some of them fly 500 miles to stand in line for three hours, just to meet me, then when they do they collapse.

Coming from having absolutely nothing to having a few grand in the bank, it was a big culture leap. I think that's why I went off the rails a bit really, 'cause there was no training for it. They didn't do fame in schools.

I have a stepladder. It's a very nice stepladder but it's sad that I never knew my real ladder.

There was never any career plan. When 'Red Dwarf' started I thought we were doing a curious little sitcom on BBC2, I didn't think I was becoming an actor. I didn't see that 21 years later I'd still be talking about it, let alone filming a new one. For me everything's always been an accident.