Critics called me 'egregious' - I had to look that one up - and 'creepy', but now I don't read them, I weigh them.

Prison widens your circle of friends. In my stand-up, I can now talk about things that no one else has the right to touch.

British fans are exceptional, but the American fans are something else. Some of them fly 500 miles to stand in line for three hours, just to meet me, then when they do they collapse.

Who needs drugs when you have Takeshi's Castle?

Coming from having absolutely nothing to having a few grand in the bank, it was a big culture leap. I think that's why I went off the rails a bit really, 'cause there was no training for it. They didn't do fame in schools.

It's not supposed to be easy, if it's easy, it's no good, that's the way I look at it.

The inventory process and stepping back in your life can sometimes be a very dark process. But it also can be extremely funny and surprising.