Today Monopoly added a new game piece: the cat. The new piece was chosen after weeks of online voting. Is that a surprise? Whenever there's a vote for something on the Internet, the cat always wins.

Being an American is something I wanted to be for a very long time, probably since I saw the moon landing when I was a child.

There's just a feeling you get from certain things you do in life that just kind of feel pure and independent of what's actually, physically, going on.

Bush's memoir is 512 pages. To be fair, 200 of those pages are just games and puzzles.

If I have a near-beer, I’m near beer. And if I’m near beer, I’m close to tequila. And if I’m close to tequila, I’m adjacent to cocaine.

I don't drink anymore for Cinco de Mayo. I celebrate with Mexican food, or as it's known in Mexico: 'food.'

I don't think of myself of a late-show host any more than I think of myself of a game-show host. I mean, I've done both, I've been an actor. I'm just kind of a carny, that's it.