Look, there is nothing you can say about this show that I don't already know

Tomorrow's just your future yesterday.

Al Qaeda has declared war on the Somali pirates. That is awesome! Evil against evil. Like Alien versus Predator or Cheney versus his lawyer.

Technically my dog's naked most of the time. Except halloween, when I dress him up as Liza Minelli.

It's Earth Day today. Let me tell you something about polar bears. They're endangered but you have to be careful because a polar bear is one of the few animals that will stalk a human. If you go to where polar bears live, it might stalk you and when you're on the plane going home, it might be behind you reading.

I aim to please. I'm nothing if not a vaudevillian.

It seemed that I performed better sober than drunk. Who knew?