With good parody, you have to be smarter that the people you’re parodying.

I think people are as individual as snowflakes, they kinda look alike but no two are the exactly the same, and all classification is the root of prejudice.

There is no Thanksgiving back in the old country where I come from. You know why? Because being thankful is a sin.

Anyone who's just driven 90 yards against huge men trying to kill them has earned the right to do Jazz hands.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with telling the truth. I know it isn’t fashionable.

Larry King has been married more times than Henry the Eighth. We used to have that rhyme to keep track of them. 'Divorced, beheaded, died. Divorced, beheaded, survived.' With Larry I think it goes, 'Divorced, beheaded, divorced, escaped. Zombie, lesbian, disappeared, inflatable.

Donald Trump showed his birth certificate to reporters. Who cares about his birth certificate? I want to know if that thing on his head has had its vaccinations.