Sometimes my pathology just spills out into the camera doesn't it?

I think comedy as an art involves the audience as a participant as much as is involves the artist.

Self help books are pointless. Here's something for you... Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, and self help books are from Uranus.

You should never protest outside a rich guy's home during the day because he's not there. He's at work grinding the faces of the poor.

BP CEO Tony Hayward said recently, 'No one wants this thing over more than I do. I'd like my life back.' Tony, I'm so sorry you had your summer disrupted. I'd buy you a drink, but you'd probably spill that too and make me clean it up.

The most popular Valentine's Day gift is chocolate. In the 1800's, doctors told their patients to eat chocolate to get over a broken heart. They also thought if you're going to be alone, who cares if you get fat.

Sober alkies are often asked: "When did you hit rock bottom?" but a more informed question might be: "How many times did you hit rock bottom?