There are 300,000 new jobs and Bush said he's confused, 'Can I take credit for good news that I didn't even make up?'

John Kerry will be the Democratic nominee for president. Democrats finally found someone who is Al Gore without the flash and the sizzle.

I have a wonderful respect for old people.

The big political news, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor of California, and already, people are chanting, 'Four more vowels, four more vowels.

New rumors that Saddam Hussein is planning to flee to a castle in Libya with 10 billion dollars. Now President Bush doesn't know whether to nuke him or give him a tax cut.

The prison scandal is really hurting President Bush's poll numbers. In fact, I hear he's already working on his concession smirk.

I think that you're always going to have some people who are negative or view you in a certain way.