There are 300,000 new jobs and Bush said he's confused, 'Can I take credit for good news that I didn't even make up?'

President Bush is trying to put a positive spin on the latest bad economic numbers. Today he declared victory in the 'War on Jobs.'

Hillary Clinton has finished writing her book where she says her marriage couldn't be stronger, and Bill just finished his book titled 'Chicks I Nailed While Hillary was Writing Her Book.'

A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn't answer the phone.

New rumors that Saddam Hussein is planning to flee to a castle in Libya with 10 billion dollars. Now President Bush doesn't know whether to nuke him or give him a tax cut.

I don't do well around the angry, bitter and emotionally fragile among us, which may eliminate 70% of the population.

Larry Flynt, running for governor of California. His goal - change our state bird to the spread eagle.