Larry Flynt, running for governor of California. His goal - change our state bird to the spread eagle.

Howard Dean is narrowing the field of potential running mates. It's down to Mike Tyson or Bobby Knight.

Yesterday Jerry Springer bowed out of the Ohio Senate race. He said, 'If I can't run the most embarrassing campaign in America, then I'm out of here.'

I don't do well around the angry, bitter and emotionally fragile among us, which may eliminate 70% of the population.

Maria Shriver is credited with helping Arnold win by standing by him despite allegations of groping. She had to stand by him cause Arnold had a vice grip on her left ass cheek.

George W. Bush even stopped in Pennsylvania to try his hand at the lotto and gave up when he could only think of the numbers 4 and 17

There has been no electricity in Baghdad for a week and the people are angry. You would be angry too if you couldn't watch your brand new stolen TV.