John was an extraordinary man. Our relationship has shaped much of my life. I have always loved him and never stopped loving him. That’s why I want to tell the real story of the real John – the infuriating, lovable, sometimes cruel, funny, talented and needy man who made such an impact on the world. John believed in the truth and he would want nothing less.

John needed to escape his reality. I understood completely but I couldn't go along with him.

When John was with me, it was total commitment. Whatever he did outside our relationship didn't seem very important. We were together such a lot of the time that whatever other affairs he had once we met couldn't have amounted to much because I was with him most of the time. He kept me in Liverpool as late as I dared stay.

John was closest of all to Paul; their relationship was very complex.

John was an extraordinary man. Our relationship has shaped much of my life. I have always loved him and never stopped loving him. That’s why I want to tell the real story of the real John – the infuriating, lovable, sometimes cruel, funny, talented and needy man who made such an impact on the world. John believed in the truth and he would want nothing less.

Noel [Charles, husband] and I love cooking. He does his cooking and I do mine. I'm the traditional English cook, with a twist now and then. Because I was married to an Italian, I'm also pretty good at Italian food. Noel, he can cook anything, so can Julian.

I was proud, excited and a little frightened. It was all taking off so quickly…the more successful the boys were, the further away from me John felt. I was getting used to being a mum, but most of the time I felt like a single parent…it was hard not to feel frustrated with being stuck at home. I loved Julian, but I knew that if I hadn’t had him I could have seen much more of John and that was hard…I felt shut off from the life he was living. After years at his side, I was excluded, just as it was all happening.