You look at the floor and see the floor. I look at the floor and see molecules.

The reason I'm here today, the reason I own a brand new Harley-Davidson motorcycle and the reason I have a big log cabin and I got cars and all kinds of stuff is because I'm a writer and writers own everything. So you learn how to write.

My first jobs were all civil service. At 14, I worked for the Canadian National Railways. At 16, I worked for the Canadian Penitentiary Service.

I could sell used battery acid and make it fly.

The entertainment business is not the be-all and end-all for me.

I had a slight touch of Tourette's, which means you talk to yourself and bark and cry out at night.

My whole thing is to entertain, make people laugh and to forget about the real world for awhile.