Operator! Give me the number for 911!

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

After years of doing it, you learn the difference between your ego and your opinion. When you're married you have to cut through that.

There is no strong beer, just weak men

If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English.

All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say 'Yo Goober! Where's the meat?'. I'm trying to impress people here Lisa. You don't win friends with salad.

It's the weirdest thing. When you go into acting, you expect to be a huge star and to be recognized. It did happen, but not in the way you expect it to. In L.A., I'm just another character actor.