It is better to watch things then to do them.

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution!

There is no strong beer, just weak men

The Simpsons take up so little time that I'm able to do other things as well.

It's hard to find a play that's right for me to do. Rather than waiting around for the right script to come along, I decided to write one myself.

Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves.

If I were actually Homer Simpson, I'd be getting scripts out the wazoo.