Every golfer has at least 14 enemies: his clubs.

Baseball would be a better game if more third basemen got hit in the mouth by line drivers.

A good one iron shot is about as easy to come by as an understanding wife.

Always keep in mind that if God didn't want a man to have mulligans, golf balls wouldn't come three to a sleeve.

Only two things can stop Tiger — injury or a bad marriage.

I quickly discovered that trying to go play golf while living in Manhattan was about as easy as trying to grab a taxi while standing out in front of Saks Fifth Avenue in the freezing rain on the last shopping day before Christmas.

Regardless of what the tour pros think, golf is a rich and varied game, and what all of us awkward fools do on weekends is what golf is truly all about.