Owning a gun in America is one way for conservative white males to demonstrate their anger at crime, liberalism, feminism, and modernity.

If kids got raped at Denny's as often as they get raped at church it would be illegal to take your kids to Denny's.

Oh, my god. I'd be a terrible doctor. I don't like to touch other people. There's a lot of gruesome stuff in my line of work to feel or to admit. I'm sure everyone's expecting me to say "proctologist," but actually no, I don't want to be a proctologist. Probably want to be a dentist, because you don't have to touch much of the other person's body, just their face or mouth.

A lot of people think that telling people you're gay is something someone might say just to get attention.

You want to help gay kids, you have to reach them in middle school and high school, when they're being bullied.

For me, my discomfort with gay weddings was articulated by a close friend, who observed that gay people getting married is like retarded people getting together to give each other PhDs. It doesn't make them smarter, and it doesn't make us married.

I think abortion should be mandatory for about 30 years.