I decided that it might be interesting to have terrible things happen to orphans over and over again.

If everyone fought fire with fire, the whole world would go up in smoke.

Either you have the feeling or you don't. Hawk Davies

Never mind what my name is,” the man said. “No one can pronounce it anyway. Just call me Sir.

Money is like a child—rarely unaccompanied. When it disappears, look to those who were supposed to be keeping an eye on it while you were at the grocery store. You might also look for someone who has a lot of extra children sitting around, with long, suspicious explanations for how they got there.

Neither were you [born yesterday], unless of course I am wrong, in which case welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life.

Boredom is not black licorice, Snicket," she said. "There's no reason to share it with me.