Of course I'm trying to trick you! That's the way of the world, Baudelaires. Everyone runs around with their secrets and their schemes, trying to outwit everyone else.

Taking one’s chances is like taking a bath, because sometimes you end up feeling comfortable and warm, and sometimes there is something terrible lurking around that you cannot see until it is too late and you can do nothing else but scream and cling to a plastic duck.

It is a miracle if you can find true friends, and it is a miracle if you have enough food to eat, and it is a miracle if you get to spend your days and evenings doing whatever it is you like to do, and the holiday season - like all the other seasons - is a good time not only to tell stories of miracles, but to think about the miracles in your own life, and to be grateful for them, and that's the end of this particular story.

Dumping you times infinity. Still not enough.

She gave me a hug and for a second I was embraced by a body that makes me want to go home and never eat again.

There is only laughing across the land as the car moves you along, on your way someplace with love in the car.

If you are trying to fool a farsighted or dimwitted person, a veiled facial disguise might be enough.