The more I protest that I'm not Lemony Snicket, and that I'm Daniel Handler instead, the more it becomes clear to the audience that I am in fact Lemony Snicket, that I am in fact standing in front of them.

But it's far too late for us; ring, hair, letters, photographs - all traces of our love will be scattered then, like an anagram.

One has to adopt a sort of Zen calm, in which you know you wrote the best book that you could at the time.

I was never a fan of anything, and yet some people are fans of my books. That's a bit odd. But I like meeting them.

There are many difficult things in this world to hide, but a secret is not one of them.

I had written eight drafts of the Lemony Snicket' screenplay when this changing-of-the-guard thing happened, and I said to the new producers, "I don't think I could write any more drafts." I guess I was sort of hoping they would say, "Well that's okay, this last one is perfect." But instead, they said, "It's funny you should say that. We don't think you can write any more drafts either."

...you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit.