Boredom is not black licorice, Snicket," she said. "There's no reason to share it with me.

Are you who I think you are?

What do your parents know, about surviving?

So every so often, when I meet someone who's honestly appalled by my books and doesn't understand why they would be attractive to people... I find such people sort of charming, even though they usually don't like me.

There are many difficult things in this world to hide, but a secret is not one of them.

The Basic Eight and Watch Your Mouth both have first-person voices, and I ended up investigating those voices and investing so much in them that I think many people took them more seriously than they ought to have.

I think pirates, like astronauts, particularly for a boy, are always kind of worth thinking about.