Boredom is not black licorice, Snicket," she said. "There's no reason to share it with me.

For every teenager I know, having a phone is a mixed blessing, because your parents can press a button and figure out where you are.

In love, as in life, one misheard word can be tremendously important. If you tell someone you love them, for instance, you must be absolutely certain that they have replied "I love you back" and not "I love your back" before you continue the conversation.

The smell of cooking food is often a calming one.

I know you can't see it, not you, Ed, but maybe if I tell you the whole plot you'll understand it this once, because even now I want you to see it. I don't love you anymore, of course I don't, but there's still something I can show you. You know I want to be a director, but you never truly see the movies in my head and that, Ed, is why we broke up.

You should never stick something that you are allergic to into your mouth, especially if that thing is cats.

It was darker than a pitch-black panther, covered in tar, eating black licorice at the very bottom of the deepest part of the Black Sea.