Boredom is not black licorice, Snicket," she said. "There's no reason to share it with me.
Daniel HandlerChestnuts in stuffing tastes like someone chewed up a tree branch and then French-kissed it into your mouth.
Daniel HandlerIf you have ever had a miserable experience, then you have probably had it said to you that you would feel better in the morning. This, of course, is utter nonsense, because a miserable experience remains a miserable experience even on the loveliest of morning.
Daniel HandlerHow wrong to think I was anyone else, like thinking grass stains make you a beautiful view, like getting kissed makes you kissable, like feeling warm makes you coffee, like liking movies makes you a director. How utterly incorrect to think it any other way, a box of crap is treasures, a boy smiling means it, a gentle moment is a life improved.
Daniel Handler