Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.
Daniel HandlerMiracles are like pimples, because once you start looking for them you find more than you ever dreamed you'd see.
Daniel HandlerThe right hand doesnโt know what the left is doingโ is a phrase that refers to times when people ought to know, but donโt know, about something that is happening very close to them. For instance, you ought to know about the man who watches you when you sleep.
Daniel HandlerI never want to be away from you again, except at work, in the restroom or when one of us is at a movie the other does not want to see.
Daniel Handler