When you need a haircut, it looks like you have no one to take care of you.

'Help me,' Allison says, but she is soft-spoken, and everyone she loves is so far away.

Those unable to catalog the past are doomed to repeat it.

I don't know why wicked places generally look wicked. You'd think they'd look nice, to fool people, but they hardly ever do.

Knowing that something is wrong and doing it anyway happens very often in life, and I doubt I will ever know why.

The difference between a house and a home is like the difference between a man and a woman-- it might be embarrassing to explain, but it would be very unusual to get them confused.

I was once almost forced off the stage at a large chain bookstore that shall remain nameless, because she introduced me as Lemony Snicket, and I immediately interrupted her and said, "Oh no, Lemony Snicket isn't here," and then she tried to cancel the event right then and there.